May | 2009 | Horsegirl on a Journey

Monthly Archives: May 2009

Undemanding time is only one-way, apparently

Posted on May 20, 2009 by horsegirlonajourney

I am fighting off a cold that I caught in Reno and decided to stay in this evening, reading. But I missed Rocky so much I ended up hauling a folding chair out to the Back 40 and setting it up with my back to a tree, so I could read in peace with no horses sneaking up behind me.

the-enemy I guess no one explained to the horses what undemanding time is. I had Rocky’s nose on my head, my shoulder, in my hood, on my book. Riley dripped slobber or snot on my sleeve. Sterling couldn’t stand that I wouldn’t let her within eight feet and gave me a nasty look, which I had to wipe off by backing her several more steps — from my chair, with my book as my carrot stick.

I finally got up to get a lead rope from the hook at the gate, as it was easier to whirl that around as needed without interrupting my reading than it was to wave my arms. Also, I didn’t want Riley to learn a game of “how can I make the human stand up and move her arms all over the place.”

Eventually Riley and Sterling admitted that I wasn’t going to let them near me and they wandered off, but Rocky stayed, alternately dozing and swishing at flies, and occasionally rubbing his forehead on me so I could scratch his eye ridges (he even sighed blissfully once, which makes my heart go ka-thump). At least he didn’t back his buttcrack into me for scratches — that’s his favorite place, but not one I’m comfortable rubbing while I’m reading.

I told him to stop making demands, as I was out there to read and have undemanding time, but that only got him more interested. He picked up the lead rope from my lap,then dropped it and started licking my elbow. Finally, a little over an hour later, he took a few steps away from me, toward the mares, then stopped and looked back. I kept my eyes on my book and waved a hand at him like “go on, go on, I’m busy.” About 10 minutes later I packed up and came inside.

I guess our relationship is going okay after all.

Grief release and healing horsemanship

Posted on May 19, 2009 by horsegirlonajourney

I am taking a Grief Release Workshop at the local yoga studio, which meets on Monday afternoons for four sessions. The instructor’s goal is to show us ways to honor and let go of grief and break the cycle of stuffing it down, talking about it over and over, getting stuck in a loop where we hold the grief in our bodies, minds, and spirits without ever letting it or our ourselves progress.

Yesterday, we explored a form of meditation that gives one something to do: we created colorful mandalas. Not being Tibetan monks with a lifetime of study and several pots of sand, we used markers, crayons, and pencils and pre-printed mandala outlines from the internet (click to enlarge):
Most of the mandalas were overtly feminine, with butterflies and flames and lotus flowers, arranged so you could just get away with pretending not to see the sacred feminine unfolding within. (In other words, most of them looked as much like vulvas as any flower ever painted by O’Keefe.)